Christian Phoenix Tate: Our Rainbow After the Storm

****edited***** Christian is going to be 20 months old, so I need to finally post this! I'll add pics momentarily, but I am being crazy slow with this blog.


I have been working on this blog for months. I keep wanting to add to it, but instead I'm just going to wrap it up. Now that Christian is 6 months old, it is finally time to post his welcome blog!

Christian's Name

Christian is 4 months old today (now over 6 months), so it is fitting that I share his story of how he entered the world and his first few months as a very loved member of our family. Most people know that he was named after my beloved grandmother who died six weeks before he was born. Christian was her maiden name, and I told her when I found out that I was expecting our rainbow baby that I was naming him after her if he were a boy. She laughed and said she hoped it would be a boy then, making it her fourth great-grandson. It was fervent hope that she would meet him in person, but I know that she would be as smitten with him as she always was with London.

We chose "Phoenix" for two reasons. Like London, it references our love for travel, but it also has another significance, which is that the mythical phoenix is reborn out of its own ashes. Our miscarriage in November 2015 was heartbreaking, and I will never forget that loss of our second pregnancy. We also know that loss led to Christian's arrival, and every time I look into his smiling blue eyes, I am thankful for him.


Early Arrival 

Like his older brother, Christian was ready to come early. I will say that with the exception of some painful heartburn during the last trimester, my pregnancy with Christian was smooth. I was nervous at every doctor's appointment, especially until I could consistently feel him moving, but physically it was an easy pregnancy and delivery. I found out that I was already dilated before we went on the Polar Express in Batesville the weekend before Thanksgiving. My goal was to not go into labor on the train, which I successfully achieved. I had one week of classes before exams and had told my students that I would try to make it to at least one class before having Christian.  However, I did not get to see my students again.

The weekend following Thanksgiving we went to see the Christmas lights at Cottonplant. That night I started having contractions while Logan was gone on a call just like what had happened with London. When he got back home around 2am, my parents came over to stay with London while we went to the hospital. After remaining in observation until the early morning, they released me because I was not progressing. That day we went out for our Christmas tree just in case, and that night after the lights were strung and the ornaments were hung we got ready for bed, and I felt much better than the night before. No sooner than I was comfortable after reading London a few bedtime stories that my water broke. This time I knew it wasn't a false alarm. My parents came over for the second night in a row, and we kissed London goodnight, telling him that when we say him in the morning he would be a big brother.

London was born at 10:41 am, and Christian almost arrived at the same time. He waited until 11:19 am, mainly because I pushed longer with him. Still both deliveries were fortunately without complications. Christian was ready to join our family two weeks earlier than his due date. I had planned on sharing my birth month and even my birthday with him, but he wanted his own month and arrived on November 28, 2016 at 7 lbs 2 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. When his nurse laid him on my chest it felt like I finally released my breath that I had been holding for the past nine months. The November before had been gut-wrenchingly painful, and for months I thought I would not experience this moment again. But I felt overwhelmingly joyful and at peace looking into his midnight blue eyes already looking back at me.

Over the next two days we had several visits from family and friends. London was super excited about Christian while visiting him in the hospital (although that would change after we got home with him), and we made sure to make him feel included with big brother gifts. Then we had some moments that stood out as unusual like having to evacuate into the hall for a tornado warning when Logan almost got trapped outside on a Mexican dinner run and when I fell in the bathroom after my left leg took longer to wake back up after the epidural.  We missed London and couldn't wait to get back home with him, but we would soon discover that our biggest adjustment was yet to come.

Finding a New Normal 

We weren't new parents this time around, but having a newborn with a four-year-old also presented new challenges. I felt myself torn in two trying to meet Christian's constant physical needs and London's emotional ones. Bedtime was definitely the hardest time for everyone. London realized the idea of a baby brother had been more exciting than the reality, especially since he hadn't considered having to share his parents. With time he has adjusted and has welcomed Christian into the family. London and I make time for us to do things just the two of us, and he has gotten closer with Logan. And the bigger and more interactive Christian becomes the more London enjoys his little brother.

Just like with London, I knew I wanted to nurse Christian. As a vegetarian, my milk production seems to be on the low-side, so with London I made it one month before needing to subsidize yet I managed to push it to two months with Christian. Another thing I learned from my experience with London as a newborn is that my boys just believe in co-sleeping. With London I fought it for four months and ended up sleeping with him in a recliner. With Christian I accepted that he would be in my arms, which he loves, and happily sleeps all night beside me. Christian smiles almost all the time and seems to be just a joyful baby. I think part of this is his personality and another part is that we are much more relaxed now than we were when we were brand new parents constantly afraid of doing something wrong. Also, we realize that the time goes by so quickly. Seeing London next to Christian is a constant reminder of how quickly babies grow up. This is another reason we will let our boys sleep with us for as long as they want to, but we may have to upgrade to a king-size.

I never knew I'd be a boy mom, but I love it. London says that I'm the queen of our family and that he and Christian are my royal guards. Christian obviously adores his big brother. His eyes follow him everywhere he goes, and he will smile at London quicker than at anyone else. Just last night, London read a book to Christian with his arm around him. I thought that London would instantly love being a big brother, but really it has been a role that he has had to warm up to. As he says himself, "I had you and Daddy for four and a half years by myself. I didn't know there would be a hard part." That hard part is learning to share our time but learning that does not mean sharing our love. It also means that he has grown up a lot in just four months. But I know that despite any challenges now balancing the needs of two boys, it will be worth it that they'll have each other to grow up with together and share their childhoods.



New Adventures with Family of Four

Next week we'll be ordering Christian's first passport because we have decided to take a semi-spontaneous trip to Europe in August. For me, if it's an international trip not planned more than a year in advance, it is spontaneous. Even in Christian's first four months we have had several adventures so far: church, Christmas lights, two trips to the Memphis Zoo, park trips, his first overnight trip to Huntsville Space Center; first holidays, and our first big family trip to Jekyll Island and Saint Augustine. (Since first writing this we have added a trip to Hattiesburg, St. Louis, Nashville, and 10 year vow renewal to Florida's 30A. I'm going to write more about these soon!)

17 Goals for our Family in 2017

Last year we set 25 goals for our family, which was quite a lofty undertaking We did not meet all of them, but we did manage to reach more than half. This is the point of goals. Writing them down and then reflecting on the process is just as important as actually being able to check them off the list. For this year we came up with 17 more goals, and I'm going to add some of these from last year to our new list as well.

Our 25 Adventures and Goals from 2016:

1. Visit a new country
We had intended to go to the Dominican Republic on a cruise, but we changed plans because of the Zika virus and our pregnancy. 
2. Visit a new state
I had planned on going to Ohio on our way to Niagara Falls, but we changed that trip due to our pregnancy as well. We are going to two new states this year!
3. Visit a new city
This we did! We went to Hilton Head, SC; Guntersville, AL; and Ponce Inlet, FL

4. Drive the entire Natchez Trace in two separate trips
We hiked a lot of the trails around Tupelo but didn't venture too far north or south yet. 

5. Bike on the Tanglefoot Trail
We did this!
6. Kiss a dolphin
Not yet, but I did help other people make this happen. 
7. Have a daily couples devotion
Not daily, but we did do some. This is something we are continuing on working on. 
8. Visit a Space Center
We not only went but got annual memberships and are going again in a few weeks!

9. Climb the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse in Magic Kingdom
Yes!
10. See Josh Groban in concert
Yes!

11. Hike Dismal Canyons
Yes!

12. Stay overnight in a state park cabin
No, but we did spend the night in a camper in a state park. 

13. Explore Savannah
We ate at the Pirate House in Savannah, which is the oldest building in Georgia!
14. Visit a new attraction in Charleston
We visited several, with my favorite being the Angel Oak. 

15. Take a couple's overnight trip
We took two: New Orleans and Muscle Shoals to the Marriott! 

16. Tour the U.S.S. Alabama
Nope! Good one for this year. 
17. Go to Trace State Park
We did and spent the night!
18. Take my parents to Chattanooga
Yes! 

This isn't Chattanooga, but it is a hiking day trip we also took with my parents to Tishomingo State Park. In addition to our overnight trip to Chattanooga, we also took day trips to the Memphis Zoo and the Huntsville Space Center.

19. Hike Alabama Natural Bridge
Didn't happen last year. 
20. See an air show
Not last year but hopefully this year!
21. Ride on a train
Yes!

22. Visit a new children's museum
We went to the Memphis Children's Museum for the first time. 
23. Do a family mission project
We served at the Salvation Army once as a family, and then London and I went back to serve on Thanksgiving. 
24. Ride on a riverboat
  Yes!
25. Read seven chapter books as a family
We actually read more than 7!

Overall, we were more than 50%, and many of the ones we didn't succeed in meeting last year, we've moved to this year in addition to our new 17. And our biggest "goal" last year, which was definitely more of a dream and a prayer than a "goal," was becoming a family of four! We welcomed Christian Phoenix to our family on November 28, 2016, so this year's goals all include living life with two boys!

17 Goals for 2017

1. Pay off a credit card. Completed in January 
2. Save more.
3. Earn my Travel Agent Card. Received in January 
4. Logan will earn his BSN degree in August.
5. Visit two new states.
6. Visit Mexico and Canada.
7. See at least two shows/concerts. The Lion King and Rent are already booked for this spring!
8. Take a trip with my parents. We are planning on three: St. Louis, Seagrove, and their first cruise!
9. Pay off our vehicle.
10. Double the amount of trips I booked and planned last year.
11. Go to Disney as a family of four. This is booked for December.
12. Stay at the Opryland Hotel for the first time.
13. Write in my blog at least once a month. (Last year I only wrote two blogs!)
14. Go hiking together as a family of four.
15. Have a weekly date night.
16, Start a weekly family devotion.
17. Have our 10 year vow renewal at the beach

I also plan to print off more pictures, take more professional pictures, and actually finish distributing our 2016 Christmas cards. I love setting goals. Sometimes, I'll admit I put things on our list that I know I can accomplish and already have in the works. This gives me a boost to tackle some of those things which appear more daunting. For example, we already have 20-25 people coming down to Seagrove, Florida for our 10 year vow renewal. I have a minister and a photographer and our bungalow booked, but I do not have a dress or the service planned out yet. We already have our Disney trip booked for my birthday week in December, and we have a cruise in October booked where we'll visit the two new states and Canada. Logan is on track with graduation, and I'm already halfway to my travel planning goal for this year. Other things are going to need more work in order to make happen, but I'm excited to see all that is in store for this year!

What are your family goals for 2017?

Sweet Summer 16

(I have been working on this blog since August.)

I could really do a separate post for many of our Summer 16 Events and Adventures, but with the new school year starting next week and the baby due in December, I'm going to try to be realistic and get caught up. This has been a very active summer! We celebrated our 9th Anniversary and went to Disneyland for the first time. Then we had a surprise gender reveal where we didn't even know if we were going to find out in time for the party. June meant London turned 4, and we celebrated with a birthday party and trip to the Memphis Zoo. In July, we took a weekend family trip to the Smoky Mountains, and the following weekend Logan and I took an overnight trip to New Orleans. Now here is a glimpse of our May, June, and July:



9th Anniversary trip to California

Last year Logan and I had to cancel our 8th anniversary trip when London broke his femur, so this year we were determined to get to celebrate. We booked a Carnival Cruise for the three of us to visit two new countries, including the Dominican Republic, Grand Turk, and a return to the Bahamas. Then when we got back from Disney World in January we found out that these countries were all found to be Zika positive. We weren't pregnant then, but after our miscarriage last November we were really hoping to be pregnant again soon and refused to take any chances. So we rerouted our trip to California!

We have dear cousins in San Diego, so we planned to visit them and to add a side-trip to Disneyland to stay in the Disneyland Hotel for the second half of our trip. London was so excited to get to see his cousins again. We stayed right across from Balboa Park in a beautiful historic hotel called the Inn at the Park. We visited the San Diego Zoo and Safari Park just the three of us and got to spend a day at La Jolla Beach with our cousins. The three played in the ocean and watched sea lions basking on the rocks. We ate fresh fruit on the beach and played bocci ball.  Then we went back to their condo with its sunset view for dinner that evening. We love San Diego and always find something new to do. This time we had dinner at Fisherman's Village, which is sadly going to be knocked down to make room for more hotels.

After three full days in San Diego, we hopped in our rental car and headed to Anaheim, a new place for the three of us! We are all Disney World aficionados and couldn't wait to experience Disneyland for the first time. After checking in at the historic Disneyland Hotel and taking lots of pics in the teacup tables in the lobby, we walked through Downtown Disney to California Adventure.

London's favorite part of California Adventure was Cars Land, and I'll admit that it was my favorite too. As many times as I've watched Lightning McQueen, I really felt like I was in the movie. London was actually tall enough for the big ride which was the racers. I thought these were little cars that put-putted around a track, but it turned out to be a bit of a roller coaster. I was mortified because I realized afterwards that it was not recommended for pregnant women. I had checked every ride that I had even the slightest hesitation, but this one I underestimated. Nevertheless, my mother didn't even know she was pregnant with me when she was 3 months along and rode every ride at Hershey Park, so maybe this just means Christian will love roller coasters like I do.

We loved the Pixar Parade and the World of Color water and light show. Since Disneyland directly faces California Adventure, we also got to watch the fireworks while we were leaving, which turned out to be great since the high winds prevented us from seeing the fireworks the next night. The only blip in the day was when London lost his Mickey hat on the Toy Story ride, but it turns out that not only did we get it back the next day, but Disney gave him a free Goofy hat right then to make up for it. London still talks about losing his hat and was extra careful with it when he took it to Disney World in October.



Disneyland was an amazing experience, and we were there on our actual 9th anniversary. The first thing you notice when you walk in the park is how much smaller Sleeping Beauty's Castle is than Cinderella's. Walt definitely went bigger with his Florida park. We lucked out and were able to get in at Blue Bayou for lunch, which watches the Pirates of the Caribbean boats sail past with mood lighting. Before lunch we were able to get a lot of rides in because we had a magic hour for staying at the resort. I loved how they had a lot of different rides from Magic Kingdom, including the Snow White ride, Pinocchio, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, and even an Alice in Wonderland ride, which was my favorite. Oh, and a Nemo Submarine ride which Logan actually fell asleep on! We took a break during the day to go back to the resort so London could swim in the Monorail pool, which was one of the main reasons I selected the Disneyland Hotel. London still talks about those waterslides eight months later. We went back to the park for The Paint the Night Electrical Parade, which I thought was even more impressive than Magic Kingdom's.



Logan and I grew up going to Disney World, so it was an incredible experience to find ourselves in the original. Disney World is so much bigger, but there are some things that Disneyland does better. It has Walt's charm and obvious stamp throughout. It's a Small World has more wow factor in its California location. The castle may be smaller, but the fun is not!



Surprise Gender Reveal

We decided to surprise everyone with our gender reveal, mainly because we were so excited to be expecting again that we didn't care if it were a boy or girl and didn't want our friends and families to feel the need to pick a side. We thought about announcing at London's birthday party but then thought that it would take the focus off of him on his last birthday as an only child so instead we planned a Memorial Day Weekend party. We cut it really close about finding out in time for the party because I found out on that Friday right before the doctor's office closed for the holiday weekend. London was standing nearby me in the backyard, so he was the first besides myself to find out he was having a little brother. He was so thrilled!

My parents were helping us get the backyard ready for the party since Logan was working and because Logan and yard work don't always mix. London and I had to make an excuse to leave so we could surprise Logan at work with the news. He was nervous that there would be pink balloons in that  box and sighed relief when he saw all blue.

The next day as all our friends and family were gathered for what they thought was just an outdoor picnic we surprised them with the announcement. With cans of silly string, we covered Logan and the patio in blue. The secret to us successfully pulling off this surprise was that we were only 11 weeks, so most people thought it was too early. And I didn't tell anyone we were considering doing the Harmony test to find out early.

London's 4th Birthday



London chose House of Bounce for his 4th birthday party venue. It's crazy that I'm already planning his 5th birthday, which he also wants to have there. Big surprise! We had a PJ Mask themed party, and Beth did a fantastic job on London's cake! Although I knew that London wouldn't wear them, we gave out capes and masks for the party favors. London has a thing with capes, which is unfortunate because I think they're adorable, and since I'm a boy mom, capes are as good as it gets for dress up.

We decided to have his party on his actual birthday, which as a Thursday night. This meant that it felt like we were having a private party. Thursday nights are not when most would choose to hold a birthday party, but we're already planning on choosing that time again this year because it is worth the kids having so much more room to run.

I enjoy planning birthday parties, and this year I have two to plan!

Weekend in the Mountains



We took an impromptu trip to Gatlinburg for a long weekend and stayed at our resort Mountainloft. After the fires there the week Christian was born, I'm especially glad we went. We go every year, and since Logan and I have so much history there, we think of it as "our place." This trip we took London to see Sweet Fanny Adams, which is our favorite family-owned theatre. (The owner lost his home in the fires.) We also went to the Dixie Stampede for the first time, and London for months later would pretend to play this game at home where he served us food and then put on a show. London also discovered on this trip that he loves mini-golf and now he wants to play it any time he sees a course, which makes going to House of Bounce even more interesting now. Every time we go to the mountains we make sure to actually get in the mountains, so we went hiking to Laurel Falls this time. London really impressed up by hiking the entire way there and back. All of our hiking last year paid off, and I can't wait to get to take Christian to the Smokies this year. (Logan doesn't know it, but I'm going to sneak us up there for another weekend trip this year.)


Couple's Get-a-way to New Orleans

Although there is more to write about from our summer, I'm going to conclude with mine and Logan's New Orleans' trip. My Christmas present for last year was concert tickets to Josh Groban and Sarah Mclaughlin. We didn't know that 6 months later, I would be expecting, so that was interesting being in sweltering NOLA in July. However, Josh Groban is my favorite artist, so it was worth it. We were only staying one night because I have had a hard time being away from London since our miscarriage. We managed to pack in a lot in our 2 day trip, which we also considered our Babymoon, even though we did take one other night away in November to the Muscle Shoals Marriott.

 Our inn was right in the French Quarter close to Jackson Square and Cafe Du Monde. We walked to the outdoor concert venue right beside the Superdome. The seats were so close together that the lady beside me and I were fused at the hip. Every mosquito buzzing around me had me thinking about Zika. Yet, it was Josh Groban afterall, and even though I'd heard him in person years ago, this time our seats were so close to the stage and the venue was so personal that I definitely enjoyed this time even more. Because my feet were throbbing from the walk there, we took a pedicab back to the inn. Before heading home the next day we had breakfast at Surrey's, my favorite NOLA breakfast spot. I love that Logan and I make it a point to take time away for just the two of us, but we were both excited to see London when we got home.

Well, that is it. Those are some of the highlights of our summer, although I didn't even touch on August which included a weekend birthday trip for Logan to Guntersville State Park with Jill and Yo, our weekend beach trip to Seaside with Rain, and London's first camping trip. I'm determined to do better with my blog this year so maybe I'll return to these wonderful weekends if I run out of things to talk about this year...